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【8月17日】 writeen by AL.
日時: 2004/08/22 20:55
名前: ゴズィラ@スレ立て代行人

八月十七日

「いってきます」

午後。
十二時を少し過ぎたころ、私は三日ぶりの外へ出かけた。

今にも泣き出しそう、なんてありきたりな形容がぴったりの曇り空。
テレビの向こう、予報のとうりに、今日は午後から雨らしい。
黒い傘を片手に、外に出た。

右の腿に、鈍い痛み。
いつものように起こる、軽い頭痛。
十時間睡眠と長期間の運動不足でなまった体は、なんだか軋んでいた。

目標地点は歩いて数分のコンビニ。
昼食に兄弟三人でスパゲティを作ろうとして、自分の好きなミートソースがなかった。
特にかわりになるものもなく、ないなら買ってこいとの単純明快な理由のもと。
起きてから三時間、何も入れていない体に鞭打って。
履きなれたジーンズのポケットには大きな、自分の財布を多少無理強いに突っ込んで。
靴下を履くのも億劫に、草履を履いて出かけた。

外に出れば、すでに霧雨模様。
こういった日は、どこか寂しい。
でも、こんな日のほうが、なんだか好きだった。

晴れた日が嫌いというわけじゃない。
ただ、雨が好きなだけ。

とうの昔に、慣れ親しんだ道。
毎日のように、通っていた道。
―――――すっかり、変わってしまった道。
もう初めて見た時は、思い出せない。

久しぶりの外の空気。
霧雨すらも、心地よい。
・・・なんて思ってたら、どしゃぶりになってきた。

傘を差す。
雨の日にはどうして靴があんなに濡れるんだろうと思っていた。
今日は草履だったから、よく分かる。
傘は足元までは、その恩恵には至らないようだ。

そんなことをぼんやりと考えていたら、コンビニ前の交差点に着いた。
平日の正午過ぎ。交通量はまばら。
赤だった横断歩道を、十歩ほど使ってゆうゆう渡る。
・・・まばらじゃなくても、多分やってたけど。

今日は俗に言う狐の嫁入りというやつか。
雨の中の陽光は、あまり見かけない風景だった。
傘立てに置く。
傘の数は、自分のを含めて二つしかなかった。

丁度出てきた客とすれ違いざまに入る。
ありがとうございますを言い終わった店員は、自分への挨拶のタイミングを脱したらしい。

本棚の脇、外周を巡るように移動。
列ごとに探せば、目的のものは程なく見つかった。
当たり前だけど、いつもと違う銘柄だった。
裏面の説明を見る。
これ一品で、数種類の野菜が摂取できます。
・・・摂取って、なんか、微妙に生々しい。
でも、これしかなかった。
ついでになんとなく欲しくなった菓子も手に取り、直で店員に手渡す。

「418円になります」

小銭入れを見る。・・・百円玉がなかった。
千円札と、十円玉と五円玉一枚、一円玉三枚を出した。

「600円のおつりになります」

受け取って、挨拶とチャイムに送られ、外に出る。
雨は降ってなかった。
傘を持って、歩く。
ふと、脇に止めてあった車に目が行った。
なんとも辛そうな顔をして、運転席で寝ている人。
・・・一瞬よぎった思いを隅において、横断歩道に足を運ぶ。
今度は法には触れないだろう。

帰り道。結局降ってきた雨をぼんやりと眺めながら、
ふいに、思い至った。
自分があのとき、なんでわざわざ小銭を出したんだろう。
店員さんに無駄をさせたくなかったのか。
それとも、ただ単に小銭の整理をしたかったのか。
両方思って行った人は、すごいと思う。
ただなんとなくした自分は、どうなんだろう。

帰り道。脇道になんとなく目をやると、懐かしい車が通り過ぎた。
確かあれは、もう大分前。
毎週金曜日に、本を貸し出しに来てくれたっけ。
・・・思えば、この道もそうだ。
六年間も歩いた、懐かしい道―――――

だから。雨は嫌いだ。
いろんなことを、思い出してしまう。
・・・でも、この思いは。そう。
なかなか、気持ちのいいものだと、思う。
・・・だから。私はこんな日が―――――

帰るまでが散歩だと、私は思う。
なんか、似たような事を言ってた人がいたっけ。
でも、ま、いいや。
もう家の前。過去を思い返すのは終わり。
また、いつもの生活に戻らないと。
・・・でも、また。
こんな日が来てくれると、いいな。

―――――多分、そのときは。
もうちょっと、先を見ていられるように。

「ただいま」




―――――――――――――――――――
この作品はAL.さんがAnother worldの詩投稿スレ
に投稿してくださったものです。とりあえず、一応
小説なので、ここの板で改めて紹介させて頂きます。
投稿、有難う御座いました。
by ゴズィラ
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